shower fun

My friend Jamie hosted my Florida bridal shower last weekend. It was a really wonderful party. She and my friend Diana (of Indu-Zari Henna) did a lot of work to make it special. They decorated Jamie's entire house in an exotic Morrocan/Indian style. Diana made a fruit plate and a batch of cookies, all decorated with henna patterns in icing, chocolate and caramel. During the party, my friend Alina did my hair in "tribal goddess" style, and Diana did henna on me and on other shower guests. We also had a selection of videos for the night: Kama Sutra, Devdas, and Bellydance Divas. Thankfully, no silly shower games!

My friends gave me lots of nice gifts, and it was nice to be "princess for a night." No one has really ever thrown me a party before...someone I used to be friendly with tried to give me a 30th birthday party, but the idea unfortunately backfired. Needless to say I'm feeling really fortunate and thankful to have such thoughtful, fun people in my life right now. I don't know how I would have survived living in Florida without them!

You can see an online picture album from the shower by clicking here.

As Michael wrote below, we're more than a little unhappy that the postal system has conspired to ruin some of the invitations we sent out. Strangely, most of Michael's friends and family say their invitations were destroyed, while the people I've asked on my side say theirs are fine! I'm not sure what's going on here, but it's upsetting--especially considering that the post office worker here assured us that they would get special handling. I guess between USPS and good old Canada Post we should have expected it though. Anyway, we will be making more invitations, and if anyone whose mailing was damaged would like one, we'll be more than happy to hand-deliver on on before the day.

My search for a wedding shirt is over!

Well, I finally found a shirt to wear for the wedding! We tried in vain looking for one ten days ago at Broward Mall but had no luck. My trips to the Middle East and Thailand had influenced me to want a light colored banded collar (collarless) shirt with no front buttons. A few days later a work colleague told me to visit an East Indian clothing store. So we went there last weekend. They had a small men's section that contained nice attire with neat trimmings and embroidery. They were all very nice but unfortunately they were all full length gowns. I wouild have bought a shirt if they had had any in stock. See our March 16th entry for a photo of the gown I wore to the Bollywood event.

So we proceeded to the Sawgrass Outlet Mall and looked in a few stores. We entered one store and, in desperation, asked a clerk if they had banded collar shirts. She replied, "if we do then they will be on our discount rack." We finally saw our first banded collar shirt but unfortunately it was black. The clerk told us that they're not in style. I find that strange since I think it looks quite fashionable and it is such a refreshing change from the staid Western styled collared button up shirt. I had bought two banded collar shirts when I lived in Spokane ten years ago and I got many compliments from people. I should have bought more!

By this time I was beginning to get a bit despondent. Then we approached the Banana Republic store so we walked in and went to the men's section. I finally ound a rack with a few white banded collar shirts and my heart immediately leapt! Amidst the small sized ones I found an XL and tried it on. It fit perfectly and was exactly what I wanted. The shirt is called a linen banded-collar pullover shirt. To quote the store's website it's "designed in the lightest linen weave, this cool summer layer is a generous fit with a classic banded collar and buttonless placket for simple, unconstricted style. Pintucked detail adds a refined touch. 100% linen, banded collar, button cuffs and straight hem. It's also imported but I don't know from where. Plus it was on sale for only $38.00! I was relieved and I hadn't spent this much time looking for men's clothing in my life. I tried the shirt on at home with my darker colored vest that I bought in Turkey. Not sure which dark pants to wear but I will likely wear my shiny Florsheim shoes.

Last bit of news is that everyone that I've talked with has mentioned that their wedding invitation has been severly damaged in the mail. We're livid about this and especially with the American Postal service. The post office told us to pay extra for domestic mail so that the cards wouldn't go through the sorting rollers. We had even packed bubble wrap in the envelope. All to no avail. So far nobody I know received their invitation intact. Two people told me that their card had a hole punched completely though the card while others said that the little ball had detached. Only after I described what the invitation was to look like did they realize that their card was missing either the little ball and/or the bow. Another prime example of the horrible mail service. Luckily we bought enough material so Darcy can make extra invitations for guests who want a pristine copy. Anybody want a copy?

Overdue for an entry!

No, I haven't been deliberately avoiding posting an entry! I feel badly about not writing in ages but it's also been the case with my personal blog. Darcy and I agree that it's unfortunate that in many ways the wedding planning has taken a backseat to planning our lives together past next year. I guess it's hard to focus on one day (our wedding) when we aren't sure where we are going to be in a year from now! Plus there's no frame of reference since the wedding won't take place where we're living. We've done some planning and organizing that Darcy has mentioned previously. One thing I need to do now is find something to wear! I sort of have an idea but don't know where to look. I guess I'll try looking online first.

One big thing we still need to do is arrange the music. I have a lot of Middle Eastern tracks on my RealOne player. We have plenty of music at home too and just need to burn a couple of *Best Of...* CDs. It was a little dicey for a while but my brother and his wife were able to get plane tickets for the Big Day. They fly up July 28 and leave August 7. We've appreciated the help from Darcy's parents too so far. So things continue to move along slowly but surely. Which reminds me - I need to add a few expenditures to our wedding spreadsheet....

Flurry of activity

Invitations. are. out! Finally!

I finished decorating them on Sunday night. We mailed them on Monday morning. Hopefully the stitching will hold and they will all arrive intact!

We also finished working on our ceremony, and sent the text to our officiant, Pam. She says she really likes it, so that's a relief! We have tentatively set up the rehearsal for 5pm the day before.

My mom is going to go to Hole's Greenhouses on Wednesday to talk about flowers. We don't really need too many, I don't think, besides a bouquet for me and boutennierres/corsages for our family members. I gave her a picture of the kind of thing that I like--something loose and informal looking in white and green--something like this picture, maybe. Michael used to work at Hole's, so it would be fitting for us to go there. We're also talking about food and decorating.

Who knows, this thing may actually come together after all!

a shower in the forecast

I had not thought that anyone would do this for me, but my friend Jamie has decided to host a bridal shower later this month. Even better, she's arranged for my friend Diana to do henna at the party! Diana is a wonderful artist, and I love henna, so this should be a great evening. I'm really looking forward to it. Thanks Jamie!

Of course, this has necessitated a shorter deadline on populating our wedding registry. So I've had fun picking out things in Crate and Barrel, and the amazon.com one should grow as well. Not that I expect we'll be getting everything on there, but once you get into it picking things out is actually kind of fun.

Invitations have not been finished yet, but they should be soon--I'm hoping to get the decorations done this weekend. I'm pretty sure just about everyone on our guest list knows when and where anyway--one of the advantages of having a small party. Michael has arranged for some really nice wedding favours, too--handmade by someone he knows at work.

Hard to believe it's coming up so soon!

starting to come together

At least, I hope they are! Time is slipping away on us and now we're at less than three months!

As Michael chronicled below, we've had a heck of a time finding a photographer to meet our modest needs. I've emailed my brother today to see if he will be able to take some pictures; Michael's stepdad will take some too and hopefully we can rook in a couple of other friends. I understand that we do not represent "big business" in the wedding industry, but it is kind of depressing when people disappear or won't even lower themselves to answer your initial enquiries! Oh well...we didn't want to go that route anyway and now we're spared from feeling we "have" to.

I've been dress shopping a lot lately, though I still haven't found anything right. On my second expedition, I found a really beautiful dress at Dillard's department store. Very Old Hollywood Glamour. Ivory satin, with a cowl neckline and a skirt that draped down to flare slightly at the hem. Backless, with gathering at the base of the spine. The only problem? The cowl was, well...a little bit too cowl-y. After numerous wardrobe malfunctions in the five minutes I had it on in the dressing room, I had to admit that a dress that so easily slipped off my shoulders to expose me from shoulder to waist à la Tara Reid was not a good wedding day choice.

Yesterday, I tried on a dress at a Susan Rose, created by a local designer. Again, it was beautiful, but.... it was a nude-colour fabric, with blue beading details, fitted to about halfway down the thigh and then with a deep ruffle hem that was shorter in front than in back (slightly lower than mid-shin in front, and draping to a small train in the back). Kind of a 1920s flavour. However....seen from a distance, I looked naked with a uterus drawn on my belly in blue beads! A situation only exacerbated by the blue rosette design on the back, below the base of the spine. Plus it was eight hundred dollars.

Sigh.

However, I did try on a dress afterwards in Caché that I really liked. Imagine, a slim, sheath-type dress actually cut so that it hides any bulges in your stomach and thights, instead of emphasizing them! Without lining! I don't want to describe it too much because I might end up getting it, and I'm not sure if I want Michael to know about my dress beforehand or not. I will say it's very elegant, a little different, and a bright colour.

This week, we'll be working more on our invitations and the ceremony. I want to get our invitations sent out in the next week or so. My mom is coming to visit in early June--I suppose we will talk a lot about party menu, decorations, and such then. Plus, hopefully we'll be putting more things in our registry soon.

No photographer

Well, we have stopped looking for a photographer after a few months of on again and off again searching. We had first corresponded briefly with a photography student at NAIT but we gave up after they seemed to disappear from the face of the earth by not returning our emails. So Keith gave me a name of a photographer who had done his sister-in-law's wedding. However, the individual had decided to not do weddings. But he gave me a contact at Studio9 Photographics. Unfortunately, theirlowest priced package was still too expensive for our needs. Next I emailed administration at the University of Alberta's Department of Art & Design and Grant MacEwan College's Visual Communications Design Program. The U of A quickly got back to me with a contact at Living Images Art and Photography. But they have a wedding scheduled the same day and were not available. So we did our best but, I think, it came down to the fact that most professional photographers want to do big weddings. We didn't want dozens of candid photos and tons of official portraits and having to buyan expensive leather bound album. We refuse to be sucked into the wedding industry trap of paying gobs of money for stuff because it's what's expected. So we'll go with plan B and have friends and relatives take photos. We're both comfortable with that. More news later....

Shall we Dance?

There have been a variety of things distracting us from wedding plans lately--the move, difficult negotiations with my band, and my dad's illness, among others. But we finally have some updates!

Firstly, I called the bellydancer our officiant recommended, Farahnaz. She doesn't seem to have a web site, or else I'd post a link to it, but from what I learned talking to her and from references on others' sites she is from Iran, does Persian dancing as well as bellydance, and spends the bulk of her professional time teaching in various studios and performing at middle eastern weddings. All of which adds up to a pretty good-sounding addition to our party! There are pictures of her performing Persian dance in a couple Edmonton dancers' photo galleries, which you can see here and here.

Most recently, I finally went to look at dresses and entered The World of the Bridal Store. Quite an experience. I visited A Bride's Choice, which is close to where I live, because their web site stated that they carried evening dresses as well and I was hoping that would mean a wider variety of simpler, more comfortable selections. Well....maybe not. This was a full-scale, poufy white dress after poufy white dress, salespeople who come into the dressing room with you, mirrored room with pedestals for you to see yourself to full advantage, veils and tiaras coming at you from all sides bridal salon. The kind where they tell you not to consider practicalities while dress shopping because it's your day and if you find the dress you can't deny yourself by rationalizing that it won't work with the type of wedding you're having, the location, and the things you'll be doing that day. Because you're the bride, after all!

So. I tried on three dresses. I liked the first one best. It had a mermaid silouhette and halter neckline with a short train, and flowery, viney, three-dimensional appliques. The saleslady liked this one the least, I think because it flaunted the fact that I have curvy hips. The second one--strapless, corset bodice with lace overlay, sheer lace overlay skirt and train--was beautiful, but it was a Nicole Kidman/fairy princess dress. By which I mean it was matched the image other people have of me more than what I want to express of myself. Then we get to the third dress. I had talked about perhaps going with a colour instead of white or ivory. So I got....PRINCESS BARBIE!! Imagine a bright red, strapless dress, with rhinestones edging the top of the bodice, the waist, and the hem. Make sure the skirt is wide and poofy enough to be twice as big as your average doorway--before the crinoline petticoat is added. That is the picture of this dress! This was the point where the saleswoman (or the "wedding specialist associate") pulled out the tiara to put in my hair. Whew! It was a look that I would have loved when I was fourteen...but...seeing as I'm over twice that....

Anyway, though I knew I probably wouldn't find anything there the minute I stepped in, it was kind of fun to put on all the big dresses and pose on the pedestal. I still plan to find something simpler and off the rack, but playing "bride" for a couple hours won't hurt anyone!

After escaping the bridal store, I went to our local outlet mall. I did find one dress I kind of liked--the one in this picture, only in ivory. You can't see it in the picture, but the same beading pattern continues along the back neckline and down the back seam of the dress. The thing is, I think I like it in theory better than in execution--this is a cheap dress, not really worth even the low price it's selling for, and it shows in the beading detail. Plus, I would need major underwear to smooth, shape, and prevent unsightly bulges. I'd rather wear nice underwear on my wedding day than the modern equivalent of a girdle if I can help it!

We have given up on the photographer we'd been communicating with at NAIT--he hasn't got back to us in over a month and we're worried about reliability given our sporadic correspondence. We are contacting other people and places, and have a couple of referrals.

We are also thinking about our invitations, which may end up being as casual as these because we like the style. We are planning to send them out in May.

Here's a photo of Michael and me that was taken at the NSU Library event, Bollywood comes to Broward. Michael was one of the models in the fashion show of Indian clothing.

photography news

I just emailed a photography student enrolled at NAIT's Photographic Technology and Graphic Communications Program. The name was given to me by my friend Ed, who works at NAIT, who contacted the program's Chair. Apparently our request is a common one so we were pleasantly surprised. Darcy and I don't want to pay an exorbitant fee for a professional photographer. Actually, for the few numbers of photos that we want taken, it is virtually impossible to secure someone. Hopefully this strategy will work out. Other bit of news is that I confirmed our reservation at the Alpine Village in Jasper for our honeymoon. No other news to report besides the fact that we are moving into our new apartment this coming Saturday! I don't think this was *officially* communicated on the wedding blog. The day after we returned home from Edmonton, I called the Atriums of Plantation complex to inquire about vacancies. They said two were available so we took one that overlooked a water canal. That boosted rent an extra $30 a month but the calming view should be worth it. It's also very quiet. So we rushed over a few hours later and signed more paperwork. Our name had been on file since December. We have both been busy packing our respective places and have not discussed wedding plans at great length. Obviously this will change once we move...

post-Edmonton news

We're back in Florida after our trip home to Edmonton...we both miss the cold weather and wish we had had more time there! From -20 C to +25 C in 8 short airborne hours...

We actually didn't get much concrete planning done while we were there, but we did manage to talk a bit and clarify some of the things we want, so it's all good. We visited the Special Event Rentals, where we'll be getting our tent and other party supplies, and got to see the stuff in the catalogue firsthand. We talked with our parents a bit about food, decorating, logistics, etc...Michael's stepfather graciously offered to provide the beer and wine for the party as part of their gift, which was wonderful and unexpected. We also got lots of offers of assistance from friends, which is a relief for me personally. I had felt kind of strange about asking people for help at an event that they will also be attending as guests, so it's nice to know that they don't mind!

We also got to meet with our officiant, whom we liked a lot. She gave us some sample ceremony scripts to deconstruct and play with, and some sample readings etc. She also says she knows an Iranian bellydancer who is really good...so maybe we will have her as the performer at our wedding!

Last bit of news is that we finally registered at a couple of places online. Not much on there yet, but we'll be adding to them as we think of things. If you want to check them out, the links are to the right.

Countdown to Edmonton

Darcy and I are trying to set an agenda for wedding errands we need to do when we're in Edmonton. We will be meeting with our officiant on Dec. 23. Other errands, in no particular order are: picking up my wedding band at Birks; checking out a flower shop that my brother used for his wedding; visiting the special events rental place; driving the Chevelle (currently in storage near Thorsby) into town and getting it checked out at Maaco and Sandy Lane Automotive Service. Ideally I'd like to store Bessie (the car) in Edmonton and get it fixed up for next summer. Also need to try and secure an official photographer. Ed, a friend of mine, said he would take some photos. I'm sure Darcy will want to shop around for a dress! We also want to look for decorations and invitation cards. I'll write myself a cheque from my Washington Mutual account and deposit it in my Bank of Montreal account. This will be for money that Darcy contributed to the wedding fund (just over $2,000 U.S. at this point). I'll match whatever she has as I can tap into my B of M savings account (my grandmother's inheritance is there). My family has been invited to the Sharman's on Boxing Day so that will be a good time for all of us discuss wedding plans. That's all for now...

Long overdue, I suppose, but here's a picture of Michael and me together in Ottawa. Would have posted it earlier but we only just got it scanned!

Wedding night and other things

Yesterday I booked our wedding night lodgings at the Union Bank Inn in Edmonton. I had not heard of it but Darcy had seen it and liked it. We naturally preferred the honeymoon rustic suite over the cream and celadon toned suite. It costs $239.00 Canadian so that is reasonable I guess. We can check in after 3:00 but don't know when we'd arrive there. Ideally it would be nice to get there in the early evening.

Val, one of Darcy's friends from our days at SLIS, mentioned the Bear and Bison Inn as a place to honeymoon. It looks really nice but the rates are damn expensive. Room #3 with the jacuzzi is $350 a night. Their two night Romance Package looks great but is a hefty $900 including the refundable GST for Canadian visitors like us! Andrew, a friend and colleague of mine also mentioned taking a Caribbean cruise. I think the money value for that exceeds what staying in the Canadian Rockies has to offer. But Darcy and I miss the rugged outdoors of the northwest!

So we have decided to go with the Alpine Village at Jasper. Darcy likes their one bedroom cabins and they're moderately priced at $190 per night. Since they're closed now for the winter I need to complete their online form. Apparently I will get an email from them soon after they receive my request. One more thing - I read a book called Promises to Keep: Crafting Your Wedding Ceremony that was very good. It's written by a woman pastor and focuses on vows. It's something that not many couples dwell on much yet is what the wedding day is all about. It's 10:30 pm ET so I better head home....

Honeymoon update

My quest for a honeymoon spot continues. Darcy's mother sent an article from the Edmonton Journal about alternative honeymoons (eco type tours) . One stood out in that the Wilderness Outpost. It has short getaways for people wanting a short eco-adventure in the rugged outdoors. The luxury tents caught our eye but the prices are insane - over $9,000 for a week. Granted the company pampers it customers but we could spend that money instead on a long overseas trip to an exotic place. Banff Rocky Mountain Resort looks nice. Their standard suite room costs $221 (with AAA discount) and includes one queen bed and a pull-out sofa or two double beds, gas fireplace, seating area, bar-size fridge and coffee maker. Darcy's Mom also mentioned the Rimrock Resort Hotel in Banff - their rates are higher. My dad told me about a website to check out for accomodations around Jasper. At the moment Alpine Village Cabin Resort looks very nice and starts at around $175. It also has a pool! Well, that's all for now...

Honeymoon news...

I guess there hasn't been much news to report in a while. I decided to check out the Jasper Park Lodge as Darcy and I decided it would be nice to spend part of our honeymoon there. It's close to home but in a fairly exotic area. Our extended honeymoon would, ideally, be in Greece and Turkey for a month or two. So I first checked the website's Package Finder and selected the Celebration package. That costs $1,300 Canadian for two nights. That was the only package that seemed to suit our needs. I should call them to see if there is a honeymoon package. Then I tried finding rates for Aug. 7 to 11, 2005 and got this sobering result. For that price we could get a package deal somewhere in Mexico or the Caribbean. So I don't think we'll be staying there. I talked to my friend Keith last night and said he and his wife stayed in a cabin at the Pyramid Lake Resort that is close to Jasper. The reviews are mixed but it's worth to call the place. I just checked availability online and it appears the entire complex is booked from August 1-10. There's either one hell of a big wedding there and/or several guests have booked the place. I'll still call but this doesn't look good. Anyone know of other places?

We have an officiant!

Our wedding plans continue to firm up with us now having an officiant. Darcy had emailed the Canadian Unitarian Council and quickly got a reply. The Rev. Brian Kiely, President of the Canadian Unitarian Council, emailed back with a reassuring message that our beliefs were typical of couples and he would find a chaplain in Edmonton. Within a week we got an email from Pam Willerton, a lay chaplain. We will meet her in Edmonton when we fly up for Christmas. This is comforting and we can start planning our ceremony and vows. Darcy and I have begun sorting out what items we may need to rent from Special Event Rentals. We may have enough tables but will need a tent and many chairs, glasses, cups. I printed a checklist from a wedding planning book that is helping. Remember to keep it simple! That's all the news for now...

More good news!

I think either Michael or I had posted earlier about our search for an officiant, and how we were starting to feel a little nervous about finding someone who could comfortably do the kind of ceremony we want. Well, we have some good news on that front now, too!

After that uncomfortable conversation with a recommended marriage commissioner whose feelings turned out to be exactly the opposite of what we needed, I joined a couple of local message boards and otherwise nosed around a bit looking for more ideas. A couple of people, including my dad, suggested we try talking to the Unitarians. I contacted them this past week via email, and it looks like they will be able to perform our wedding for us!

I was initially a little leery of contacting a "church" for this; I fall into the "spiritual-but-not-what-I-would-call-religious" category, and Michael, as previously mentioned, is agnostic. I knew the Unitarians were a pretty open organization, but couldn't get past the idea that a church is, well, a Church, and we weren't looking for a Christian or conventionally religious ritual. But after talking to some people on the message boards I went ahead and wrote them, describing the two of us and what we were thinking of doing, and asking if it would be appropriate for one of their chaplains. And they said it was! A Lay Chaplain is supposed to be contacting us soon to talk about everything.

Needless to say this is a relief. At a minimum, we should have all the essentials--family, location, rings, officiant--in place very soon, and so whatever else ends up happening the wedding will still go on! All the rest is really just details.

ta daaaaaaa!

Dresses and rings

I haven't posted a blog in ages due to work piling up. Poor excuse, I know... Anyway Darcy and I looked at a very nice wedding band for me at Birks in downtown Ottawa. It had a white and yellow gold (two bands) fused together with a slight angular cut and had a sparkling finish. It was similar, at a distance, to the yellow gold and titanium rings I had seen in Florida. But the sales rep. stated that the store did not carry titanium because the metal was difficult to cut off a finger if the person was in an accident. I was impressed that the store had researched the metal's properties. I will likely ask Darcy to order if for me unless I see another ring jump out at me here. We can call a store in Edmonton and not pay sales tax on it and pay in Canadian dollars - heck of a deal! Darcy continues to read many wedding books that look very interesting - I've browsed a few of them. I need to get my butt in gear and contact some tent rental places in Edmonton. Also need to think more about what I want to wear on the Big Day. I want it to be simple and comfortable so no tuxedo! We're unsure about what to serve for refreshments afte the ceremony. But it will be kept simple and easy to clean up. Hopefully Darcy's rings will be ready for the weekend - we'll find out tomorrow...