Shall we Dance?

There have been a variety of things distracting us from wedding plans lately--the move, difficult negotiations with my band, and my dad's illness, among others. But we finally have some updates!

Firstly, I called the bellydancer our officiant recommended, Farahnaz. She doesn't seem to have a web site, or else I'd post a link to it, but from what I learned talking to her and from references on others' sites she is from Iran, does Persian dancing as well as bellydance, and spends the bulk of her professional time teaching in various studios and performing at middle eastern weddings. All of which adds up to a pretty good-sounding addition to our party! There are pictures of her performing Persian dance in a couple Edmonton dancers' photo galleries, which you can see here and here.

Most recently, I finally went to look at dresses and entered The World of the Bridal Store. Quite an experience. I visited A Bride's Choice, which is close to where I live, because their web site stated that they carried evening dresses as well and I was hoping that would mean a wider variety of simpler, more comfortable selections. Well....maybe not. This was a full-scale, poufy white dress after poufy white dress, salespeople who come into the dressing room with you, mirrored room with pedestals for you to see yourself to full advantage, veils and tiaras coming at you from all sides bridal salon. The kind where they tell you not to consider practicalities while dress shopping because it's your day and if you find the dress you can't deny yourself by rationalizing that it won't work with the type of wedding you're having, the location, and the things you'll be doing that day. Because you're the bride, after all!

So. I tried on three dresses. I liked the first one best. It had a mermaid silouhette and halter neckline with a short train, and flowery, viney, three-dimensional appliques. The saleslady liked this one the least, I think because it flaunted the fact that I have curvy hips. The second one--strapless, corset bodice with lace overlay, sheer lace overlay skirt and train--was beautiful, but it was a Nicole Kidman/fairy princess dress. By which I mean it was matched the image other people have of me more than what I want to express of myself. Then we get to the third dress. I had talked about perhaps going with a colour instead of white or ivory. So I got....PRINCESS BARBIE!! Imagine a bright red, strapless dress, with rhinestones edging the top of the bodice, the waist, and the hem. Make sure the skirt is wide and poofy enough to be twice as big as your average doorway--before the crinoline petticoat is added. That is the picture of this dress! This was the point where the saleswoman (or the "wedding specialist associate") pulled out the tiara to put in my hair. Whew! It was a look that I would have loved when I was fourteen...but...seeing as I'm over twice that....

Anyway, though I knew I probably wouldn't find anything there the minute I stepped in, it was kind of fun to put on all the big dresses and pose on the pedestal. I still plan to find something simpler and off the rack, but playing "bride" for a couple hours won't hurt anyone!

After escaping the bridal store, I went to our local outlet mall. I did find one dress I kind of liked--the one in this picture, only in ivory. You can't see it in the picture, but the same beading pattern continues along the back neckline and down the back seam of the dress. The thing is, I think I like it in theory better than in execution--this is a cheap dress, not really worth even the low price it's selling for, and it shows in the beading detail. Plus, I would need major underwear to smooth, shape, and prevent unsightly bulges. I'd rather wear nice underwear on my wedding day than the modern equivalent of a girdle if I can help it!

We have given up on the photographer we'd been communicating with at NAIT--he hasn't got back to us in over a month and we're worried about reliability given our sporadic correspondence. We are contacting other people and places, and have a couple of referrals.

We are also thinking about our invitations, which may end up being as casual as these because we like the style. We are planning to send them out in May.

Here's a photo of Michael and me that was taken at the NSU Library event, Bollywood comes to Broward. Michael was one of the models in the fashion show of Indian clothing.

photography news

I just emailed a photography student enrolled at NAIT's Photographic Technology and Graphic Communications Program. The name was given to me by my friend Ed, who works at NAIT, who contacted the program's Chair. Apparently our request is a common one so we were pleasantly surprised. Darcy and I don't want to pay an exorbitant fee for a professional photographer. Actually, for the few numbers of photos that we want taken, it is virtually impossible to secure someone. Hopefully this strategy will work out. Other bit of news is that I confirmed our reservation at the Alpine Village in Jasper for our honeymoon. No other news to report besides the fact that we are moving into our new apartment this coming Saturday! I don't think this was *officially* communicated on the wedding blog. The day after we returned home from Edmonton, I called the Atriums of Plantation complex to inquire about vacancies. They said two were available so we took one that overlooked a water canal. That boosted rent an extra $30 a month but the calming view should be worth it. It's also very quiet. So we rushed over a few hours later and signed more paperwork. Our name had been on file since December. We have both been busy packing our respective places and have not discussed wedding plans at great length. Obviously this will change once we move...

post-Edmonton news

We're back in Florida after our trip home to Edmonton...we both miss the cold weather and wish we had had more time there! From -20 C to +25 C in 8 short airborne hours...

We actually didn't get much concrete planning done while we were there, but we did manage to talk a bit and clarify some of the things we want, so it's all good. We visited the Special Event Rentals, where we'll be getting our tent and other party supplies, and got to see the stuff in the catalogue firsthand. We talked with our parents a bit about food, decorating, logistics, etc...Michael's stepfather graciously offered to provide the beer and wine for the party as part of their gift, which was wonderful and unexpected. We also got lots of offers of assistance from friends, which is a relief for me personally. I had felt kind of strange about asking people for help at an event that they will also be attending as guests, so it's nice to know that they don't mind!

We also got to meet with our officiant, whom we liked a lot. She gave us some sample ceremony scripts to deconstruct and play with, and some sample readings etc. She also says she knows an Iranian bellydancer who is really good...so maybe we will have her as the performer at our wedding!

Last bit of news is that we finally registered at a couple of places online. Not much on there yet, but we'll be adding to them as we think of things. If you want to check them out, the links are to the right.

Countdown to Edmonton

Darcy and I are trying to set an agenda for wedding errands we need to do when we're in Edmonton. We will be meeting with our officiant on Dec. 23. Other errands, in no particular order are: picking up my wedding band at Birks; checking out a flower shop that my brother used for his wedding; visiting the special events rental place; driving the Chevelle (currently in storage near Thorsby) into town and getting it checked out at Maaco and Sandy Lane Automotive Service. Ideally I'd like to store Bessie (the car) in Edmonton and get it fixed up for next summer. Also need to try and secure an official photographer. Ed, a friend of mine, said he would take some photos. I'm sure Darcy will want to shop around for a dress! We also want to look for decorations and invitation cards. I'll write myself a cheque from my Washington Mutual account and deposit it in my Bank of Montreal account. This will be for money that Darcy contributed to the wedding fund (just over $2,000 U.S. at this point). I'll match whatever she has as I can tap into my B of M savings account (my grandmother's inheritance is there). My family has been invited to the Sharman's on Boxing Day so that will be a good time for all of us discuss wedding plans. That's all for now...

Long overdue, I suppose, but here's a picture of Michael and me together in Ottawa. Would have posted it earlier but we only just got it scanned!

Wedding night and other things

Yesterday I booked our wedding night lodgings at the Union Bank Inn in Edmonton. I had not heard of it but Darcy had seen it and liked it. We naturally preferred the honeymoon rustic suite over the cream and celadon toned suite. It costs $239.00 Canadian so that is reasonable I guess. We can check in after 3:00 but don't know when we'd arrive there. Ideally it would be nice to get there in the early evening.

Val, one of Darcy's friends from our days at SLIS, mentioned the Bear and Bison Inn as a place to honeymoon. It looks really nice but the rates are damn expensive. Room #3 with the jacuzzi is $350 a night. Their two night Romance Package looks great but is a hefty $900 including the refundable GST for Canadian visitors like us! Andrew, a friend and colleague of mine also mentioned taking a Caribbean cruise. I think the money value for that exceeds what staying in the Canadian Rockies has to offer. But Darcy and I miss the rugged outdoors of the northwest!

So we have decided to go with the Alpine Village at Jasper. Darcy likes their one bedroom cabins and they're moderately priced at $190 per night. Since they're closed now for the winter I need to complete their online form. Apparently I will get an email from them soon after they receive my request. One more thing - I read a book called Promises to Keep: Crafting Your Wedding Ceremony that was very good. It's written by a woman pastor and focuses on vows. It's something that not many couples dwell on much yet is what the wedding day is all about. It's 10:30 pm ET so I better head home....

Honeymoon update

My quest for a honeymoon spot continues. Darcy's mother sent an article from the Edmonton Journal about alternative honeymoons (eco type tours) . One stood out in that the Wilderness Outpost. It has short getaways for people wanting a short eco-adventure in the rugged outdoors. The luxury tents caught our eye but the prices are insane - over $9,000 for a week. Granted the company pampers it customers but we could spend that money instead on a long overseas trip to an exotic place. Banff Rocky Mountain Resort looks nice. Their standard suite room costs $221 (with AAA discount) and includes one queen bed and a pull-out sofa or two double beds, gas fireplace, seating area, bar-size fridge and coffee maker. Darcy's Mom also mentioned the Rimrock Resort Hotel in Banff - their rates are higher. My dad told me about a website to check out for accomodations around Jasper. At the moment Alpine Village Cabin Resort looks very nice and starts at around $175. It also has a pool! Well, that's all for now...

Honeymoon news...

I guess there hasn't been much news to report in a while. I decided to check out the Jasper Park Lodge as Darcy and I decided it would be nice to spend part of our honeymoon there. It's close to home but in a fairly exotic area. Our extended honeymoon would, ideally, be in Greece and Turkey for a month or two. So I first checked the website's Package Finder and selected the Celebration package. That costs $1,300 Canadian for two nights. That was the only package that seemed to suit our needs. I should call them to see if there is a honeymoon package. Then I tried finding rates for Aug. 7 to 11, 2005 and got this sobering result. For that price we could get a package deal somewhere in Mexico or the Caribbean. So I don't think we'll be staying there. I talked to my friend Keith last night and said he and his wife stayed in a cabin at the Pyramid Lake Resort that is close to Jasper. The reviews are mixed but it's worth to call the place. I just checked availability online and it appears the entire complex is booked from August 1-10. There's either one hell of a big wedding there and/or several guests have booked the place. I'll still call but this doesn't look good. Anyone know of other places?

We have an officiant!

Our wedding plans continue to firm up with us now having an officiant. Darcy had emailed the Canadian Unitarian Council and quickly got a reply. The Rev. Brian Kiely, President of the Canadian Unitarian Council, emailed back with a reassuring message that our beliefs were typical of couples and he would find a chaplain in Edmonton. Within a week we got an email from Pam Willerton, a lay chaplain. We will meet her in Edmonton when we fly up for Christmas. This is comforting and we can start planning our ceremony and vows. Darcy and I have begun sorting out what items we may need to rent from Special Event Rentals. We may have enough tables but will need a tent and many chairs, glasses, cups. I printed a checklist from a wedding planning book that is helping. Remember to keep it simple! That's all the news for now...

More good news!

I think either Michael or I had posted earlier about our search for an officiant, and how we were starting to feel a little nervous about finding someone who could comfortably do the kind of ceremony we want. Well, we have some good news on that front now, too!

After that uncomfortable conversation with a recommended marriage commissioner whose feelings turned out to be exactly the opposite of what we needed, I joined a couple of local message boards and otherwise nosed around a bit looking for more ideas. A couple of people, including my dad, suggested we try talking to the Unitarians. I contacted them this past week via email, and it looks like they will be able to perform our wedding for us!

I was initially a little leery of contacting a "church" for this; I fall into the "spiritual-but-not-what-I-would-call-religious" category, and Michael, as previously mentioned, is agnostic. I knew the Unitarians were a pretty open organization, but couldn't get past the idea that a church is, well, a Church, and we weren't looking for a Christian or conventionally religious ritual. But after talking to some people on the message boards I went ahead and wrote them, describing the two of us and what we were thinking of doing, and asking if it would be appropriate for one of their chaplains. And they said it was! A Lay Chaplain is supposed to be contacting us soon to talk about everything.

Needless to say this is a relief. At a minimum, we should have all the essentials--family, location, rings, officiant--in place very soon, and so whatever else ends up happening the wedding will still go on! All the rest is really just details.

ta daaaaaaa!

Dresses and rings

I haven't posted a blog in ages due to work piling up. Poor excuse, I know... Anyway Darcy and I looked at a very nice wedding band for me at Birks in downtown Ottawa. It had a white and yellow gold (two bands) fused together with a slight angular cut and had a sparkling finish. It was similar, at a distance, to the yellow gold and titanium rings I had seen in Florida. But the sales rep. stated that the store did not carry titanium because the metal was difficult to cut off a finger if the person was in an accident. I was impressed that the store had researched the metal's properties. I will likely ask Darcy to order if for me unless I see another ring jump out at me here. We can call a store in Edmonton and not pay sales tax on it and pay in Canadian dollars - heck of a deal! Darcy continues to read many wedding books that look very interesting - I've browsed a few of them. I need to get my butt in gear and contact some tent rental places in Edmonton. Also need to think more about what I want to wear on the Big Day. I want it to be simple and comfortable so no tuxedo! We're unsure about what to serve for refreshments afte the ceremony. But it will be kept simple and easy to clean up. Hopefully Darcy's rings will be ready for the weekend - we'll find out tomorrow...

Don't know if I'd ever wear it, but this is a pretty dress, no?

Odds and ends

Here's a really interesting article on the history of handfasting that I stumbled across on my travels this week....

Still no rings...they are now supposed to be done "maybe by next Thursday, but the end of the month for sure." I certainly hope so!

Sigh....

Okay, first the good news. Michael and I found a lovely hand-made broom to jump over during our ceremony while we were in Ottawa! We got it in Upper Canada Village, an historic site near the town of Morrisburg that recreates a working 19th century village. It was too big to carry on to the plane going home but it seems to have survived the journey relatively unscathed.

But....

My rings were delayed because of Hurricane Frances. They are supposed to be done next week but with Ivan looming, I foresee more business closures/evacuations and further delays.

I was also really hoping that I could post today and say that we had an officiant booked. Michael and I are planning to create a non-traditional ceremony that draws in part on my pagan spiritual leanings. I had received a recommendation for a specific marriage commissioner on a Canadian wedding-themed online message board from an Edmonton wedding co-ordinator who had worked on a similar event. However, when I called the officiant she recommended, it turned out that while he had indeed done the wedding in question, he hadn't known about the non-traditional components beforehand, he was actually very uncomfortable with the way the ceremony unfolded, and he would rather not be involved in anymore weddings of that nature. Not that we are planning anything like what he described this ceremony to be like (what's a "Wicca Book" and why was it brought out during the ceremony???? And why would anyone include anti-Christian rhetoric as part of their wedding????) but it looks like we are going to have to search some more before we find someone who is comfortable with doing the kind of ceremony we both want. Either that or perform a separate, private ceremony outside of the "real" wedding, which is not really in line with what we want to do. Too bad the Government of Alberta has now placed so many restrictions on the Temporary Marriage Commissioner program. Then we could have chosen a friend or family member to do it, which really would have been more meaningful anyway.

Thankfully, we still have plenty of time! Maybe we can work out some details as we are hunkered down riding out Hurricane Ivan.

Patience was never my strong suit

Feeling a little disappointed right now. I called our jeweler today and he said that while I should check back with him tomorrow to make sure, our rings probably won't be ready until after we get back from our trip to Ottawa. I knew that it was a bit of a stretch to hope we would get them before we left, as they're being made from scratch, but I was still hoping to be able to wear them in Ottawa and show them to my aunt and family! Oh well. He says they should definitely be ready by the time we get back, and so I guess that this way we will be able to pick them up together rather than going alone.

Still wish I could find a picture of them, as the style is unique and I haven't really seen anything else like them. Soon I guess....just not too good at all the sitting on my hands and waiting!

Oh, by the way...Mom...we'd like Strawberry cheesecake and Mocha layer cake instead of store-bought, traditional, tiered wedding cake, okay? Taste trumps inedible "decoration" any day! :)

Finally!

We found my rings this weekend! I'm so excited about it. On a tip from a friend who just got married, we took a trip down to Miami to the Seybold Jewelry Building. We've lived here for four years, but are so unfamilar with Miami that we didn't know this whole "jewelry district" even existed...besides this building there are tons of other jewelry stores and centres in this area. After a couple hours of browsing the different stores, trying on various styles and sets, we ended up in Richard's Gems and Jewelry, where we finally found something right.

It's a little hard to explain exactly what it looks like...we got a set with an engagement ring and a matching band. We chose the centre stone separately--Princess cut, .59 carats, graded H for colour and VS1 for clarity. On the sides of the engagement ring, and across the band, tiny round diamonds alternate with baguettes set lengthwise. Total carat weight is just over 1c. It kind of looks like the band in the picture below, except on my rings the stones are channelset with a thin milgrain edge:

The set we looked at was in platinum, but we chose to get it made in 14k white gold instead (what can I say...too much Thomas Covenant at too young an age set me on having white gold a long time ago). The ultimate effect is a little bit antique, a little bit modern--not too flashy or fussy but with more detail to discover after the first casual glance. We should have them in time for our trip to Ottawa, so I can start showing the engagement ring off to my family members then. When we get them, we'll take a picture so that we can post it here and you can see what they really look like.

Needless to say I am very glad we finally found the right rings. Between not having a ring, not having made a formal announcement of our engagement to many of our friends yet (we decided to wait until after our friends' wedding to spread the news openly), and not being able to make any concrete wedding plans before finding out the status of our UAE applications, I was really starting to feel stuck in limbo. Hopefully, with the Al-Ain interviews coming up soon too, we will finally be able to get things in motion!

Here is the photo of the dress Michael mentioned in his last post.

Blustery Update

This is our first posting with the wedding countdown banner! Thanks to Darcy for posting the last few blogs. I have had no excuse for not posting other than I haven't made time for it. I'm at work on my day off (see my personal blog if you're interested) and should really be at home. Hurricane Charley is looming west about 170 miles so it is quite windy here. Anyway I'm glad that Darcy compiled a webliography of wedding books she's checked out. Bear in mind she's read most of them! However, I think my favorite one is The Budget Wedding Sourcebook by Barilla. I especially like the Budget Blueprint chapter and its ten categories. One column lists the product/service, another column has the estimated price and the last column has the actual price. I need to photocopy the checklist.

I guess there really isn't much of an update for our wedding plans. We've been engaged two and a half months but haven't been able to make many concrete decisions. Darcy is right that we could start on creating our wedding vows. Neither of us want biblical references but I would like to have some Pagan comments. One book we looked at discussed Pagan ceremonies that incorporated elements from other religions. Darcy and I have discussed a bit about what we may wear. I've only seen one magazine ad for wedding dress that I really liked. It was not your traditional fluffy, poofy thing. I'd have to have the picture in front of me to describe it. Apparently it was the same advertisement that Darcy's Mom had seen!

My Dad sent me links to three tent sites in Edmonton. There is Special Event Rentals, Big Top Rentals, Superior Show Services, and Event Ready Rentals and Services. I think my Dad rented supplies from Special Events Rentals for his wedding to Heather in 1997. It was a nice big tent they had in their backyard. This should be something that I can plan with my Dad's help.

We've also looked in more stores for rings but have not had much luck. Darcy bugs me that I should have picked one out for her beforehand. But I'm glad I didn't because I would have likely chosen something she wouldn't have liked. She could have returned it but it would have felt strange doing it. There have been a few that I've liked but I forget the metal that is used with the gold. It's gun metal grey and very light weight. A few have a gold strip inlaid and others have had a wavey design. The traditional plain bands are nice too but I think I want something a bit different. Darcy mentioned the option of just buying her ring without a rock and buying one online. Stores online have money back guarantees (assuming we feel comfortable with the website). There have been testamonials about people getting good deals online. If we don't suddenly buy a diamond ring here we can shop at Birks in Ottawa in a couple of weeks.

We wish we could have a date settled and begin planning but that is contingent on our fate with securing jobs at the UAE library. If we're not hired then we'll have the ceremony on August 6, 2005. If we are hired then we would likely move the ceremony back to perhaps Christmas. So the waiting continues...