the early days part 2

Darcy's *early days* narrative was very accurate. But I'll add a few comments. I probably seemed a bit overbearing at our icebreaker session at SLIS back in early Sept. 1998. It wasn't my intention but once Darcy mentioned that she had a boyfriend I had no thoughts of *pursuing* her. However, Darcy often caught my eye due in part to her curvy body and clothes she wore. She had a stylish floor length overcoat. She'd sometimes wear black tights and a shirt along with her green United Farmers of Alberta blazer. Other times she's wear a blouse with jeans an a silk(?) scarf tied to one of the belt buckles. I was intrigued by her unique wardrobe.

Another interesting thing about Darcy was her subtle style of flirting. During class breaks many students would flock to HUB for coffee. I would often saunter out last and would pass Darcy but I was too shy to talk long with her. We'd make small talk and then she'd almost always wink at me. Few people, including me, wink nowadays but I thought it was a nice touch.

I recall that about a month before our first date I was biking home late at night and saw Darcy walking. It was around 112 street and south of Jasper Ave near the LRT station and Ezio Farone (sp) park. Anyway we chatted for a few minutes and I was impressed by the amount of walking she did. She lived on 124 street north of 111 ave. The next day she emailed me and the email's subject line was *snowy musings*. Another little flirt that piqued my curiosity.

I spent many long hours in the SLIS computer lab and recall Darcy and her long overcoat flowing as she would stroll out the lab door with her boyfriend. I'd sometimes wish I was the one going out with her instead before I'd return to my homework. Darcy neglected to mention that she brought some of her exotic oils on our first date. I think she used to carry a little bottle or two where ever she went but at the Library Bar she took a bottle out and began massaging my hand with the oil. That was a nice touch. I think I ordered a cubalibra or rye and coke and Darcy ordered a Guiness. I have to mention this incident although Darcy may be embarrassed about it. One late night we were cuddling outside the back door of the SLIS building. U of A campus security was doing its rounds and saw us bundled together. They instinctively thought there was an incident and the officer strolled over and asked us separately if we *both wanted to be here*. We both said yes but he didn't seemed to be convinced but soon left us alone. A similar incident happened again.

She says that the first time she showed me her apartment I blurted out something to the effect of *Gee you have a messy kitchen*. I admit to keeping a fairly neat kitchen and keeping the sink free of clutter but I shouldn't have made that comment. I'm surprised she didn't get mad at me and I don't remember how she reacted to my unpolite comment.

I was also intrigued by Darcy's belief in Wicca. I honestly didn't know too much about it and attracted me more to Darcy. Simple things like her buring incense made our moments special. Something sparked my interest to draw her using my pencils and sketchbook. I remember sketching a photo of her at my apartment that quickly turned into a series of sketches. One of my favorites is one I sketched from my mind (using no photo) on Sept. 4, 2000. Darcy correctly mentioned in the previous posting that the next few months of our relationship were strange. I only saw her apartment a few times before I left on my nine week overseas trip on April 20.

We were reunited briefly in Edmonton in late June early July 2000 before I drove to Spokane and took the train to Chicago for the ALA conference. Then we met up a week later there and spent much of the time scouring for jobs. We didn't have a clue what would happen to us but I had a feeling that although we may be apart for a while somehow we would find employment somewhere and begin a new life together. As sappy as it sounds it happened by the end of that year.

The early days

Michael suggested to a friend that we might post the story of how our relationship began, so I thought I'd take a stab at it while I have some free time. This is, of course, my version of events only--Michael may have some editorial comments and extra details from his perspective here and there to post later!

Michael and I met on the first day of classes at the University of Alberta's School of Library and Information Studies, September 1998. The school's director was having us do some get-to-know-you-activities; we were split up into groups and had a set amount of time to find 5 things in common between the group members. I remember Michael speaking up at the start of the exercise, saying, "well, obviously we're all hockey fans, right?" To which I had to unfortunately reply no (I've since discovered the excitement inherent in a live hockey game, btw, though I still don't watch it on TV). He tells me that he remembers me saying in a pointed/significant manner early on during this same exercise that I had a boyfriend (I was still dating my ex Greg, who lives in Claresholm, though that relationship would soon end), which led him to think I was "warning everyone off" and dampened any initial interest he may have had in me. I honestly don't remember this, but I believe I brought it up, seeing as the entire 3 or 4 years previous had been taken up with the question of whether I would move to small-town Alberta with him and work in his greenhouse, or not.

Anyway. I ended up on the rebound pretty quickly after starting school, and began dating another classmate. One of those things that should have lasted for 3 months, but dragged on for 1 1/2 years. Not long after that relationship began, I did hear through the grapevine that Michael was possibly interested in me. I was not unhappy to hear this (he was the "cutest guy in school," after all!), but nothing came of it except and on again/off again crush on my part until March of 2000, as things with Mr. Rebound were falling apart.

So. The big moment. Before the day we got our graduation photos taken, Michael and I had talked on and off, but he never responded to my casual/friendly flirting. I laughed about it sometimes with my friends, saying that it was like trying to flirt with a brick wall. But that day, we were talking, and suddenly I flirted and he flirted back. And I thought...whoa...there's a chink in the armour here! Maybe something is possible! We spent a couple of days pretending to work on school assignments as we talked through DOS instant messaging on the school computers, and we went out for our first date--drinks on St Patrick's Day--at the Library Bar just off campus (I know you're rolling your eyes at that but it's true).

The first few months of our relationship were strange. We started dating six weeks before Michael left on his nine-week "grand tour" of The Middle East, Europe and the UK. He was home for only a few days afterwards before he left to visit relatives in Spokane for a couple of weeks, and then we were both off to ALA. He found his first job there, and we were only together in Edmonton for a couple weeks more before he moved to Florida. It made for an intense, emotional time, with many life-changing decisions to be made in a short period. I got my job with Broward County Library in the fall, and we were reunited in Florida in November of 2000.

Since then we've had lots of good experiences, and worked through some really tough times too. But, we made it, and now here we are!

Michael's Story

I just emailed my friends in the U.S., Canada and overseas about the Big Event. As Darcy mentioned it hasn't sunk in and likely won't for a while. But it's a special feeling. I remember Darcy introducing me to someone at her old workplace and the person replied "Oh this is part of you". A rather strange comment! I think it was the same individual who later said something to the effect that "the two of you look like a plastic couple perched on top of a wedding cake. Darcy gagged at that sickly sweet comment too. Finally someone else commented that we looked like male and female versions of each other. I also had to think about that comment for a minute.

Anyway, to make it official I proposed at around 11 am on Sunday, May 30 2004. I had been mulling the idea for a while but decided to make the decision when Darcy wanted to spend the Memorial Day long weekend in the remote resort of Flamingo, Florida. It's located at the tail end of mainland Florida in the Everglades National Park. Only one road in and out. We had first visited it in March 2001 and loved it. Not many people were there which suited us fine. It is popular with fishermen but many tourists would maybe spend a night and then head back north. Darcy wanted to stay in a cottage at Flamingo Lodge that was near Eco Pond. It was very spacious and had no television. We didn't miss not having a tv.

I still wasn't sure exactly when or where to propose but decided on the morning of May 30. We woke up early due to the power being out for the past twelve hours due to a turkey vulture (buzzard) running into a transformer and starting a fire. It knocked out power to the park. Luckily we had had the a/c maxed out all day so our cottage did not heat up quickly as the hours ticked by. Luckily we had the motel's poolside barbecue to cook our salmon. We used our candles for dinner and one person asked us if we were newlyweds!

Anyway we had breakfast the next morning and then headed outside to practice yoga. We take yoga classes every Monday night and had practiced the previous morning. We chose to practice by the campground picnic area under a shady tree. After a good half hour session I suggested we walk over to a bench overlooking Florida Bay and the keys and that's where I asked. I did not have a ring but Darcy suggested we could both get one at Birks (arguably Canada's finest jewelry store--Ask Darcy because she worked there). I had given Darcy a small diamond ring when I was in Thailand in 2002 but it was a committment ring.

We had dinner that night at the Buttonwood Cafe that is beside the motel. It was a beautiful evening and we had a view of the Florida Bay. Another omen was when our waiter asked if we were on our honeymoon! I was tempted to tell him our news but Darcy didn't want to. Sadly we had to check out the next day and head back to the rat race of Broward County. But we took our time by canoeing for two hours and walking around some of the trails. The scenery was beautiful and peaceful but god was it hot and humid. We saw lots of alligators and a few baby ones.

I guess thinking of all the things that go into planning a wedding makes my head spin. One step at a time so maybe that begins with investigating what Darcy and I need to do about her getting a green card at U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. We agreed to both set aside money (not sure how much yet) each month for the wedding and maybe honeymoon too. We also agree to spend more money on our honeymoon than the wedding. Darcy said that the average cost of a wedding is $19,000 - that's insane! Even half that amount is nuts. What happened to just having coffee, tea and cookies like what my parents did? And that was the norm! Darcy and I do not want to fall into the trap of couples bickering over mundane things like the color of napkins matching dresses. Okay - I'll get off my soapbox now.

Until next time...

The Announcement

It's finally happened...we got engaged! Michael proposed during a trip to the Everglades, on a bench overlooking Florida Bay. It's exciting, yet all a little strange...I don't think that it's really sunk in for either of us that we've actually decided to get married. Oh well, I guess we'll have plenty of time to get used to it! ;)

Especially since we live so far away from many of our family and friends, we thought that we'd set up this site to provide information and have conversations about all of our plans. We both maintain separate blogs, but with one specifically devoted to the wedding we'll be able to put all the important details in one place, and let people who would be bored by reading about our thoughts and preparations have the chance to avoid most of it altogether. Obviously at this point, we don't have a lot of specific plans...we haven't even been engaged a week and we don't even have a date set! But more information will follow. We hope that you'll join us in our excitement and our joy as we work it all out. Feel free to leave comments with suggestions, advice, warnings, or other ramblings!